You are going to have to speak "HER" language in getting her to like you. 28

I don't believe anyone can tolerate constant testing and be happy. Maybe that's why the divorce rate is 50%?

...and climbing.

The divorce rate is so high because women are unhappy in their marriages and with their partner and don’t know why. Some of them leave because they have fallen out of love .. but majority leave, because they are bored and have gone and done something in their state of boredom that has jeopardized the relationship.

Of course getting into the dating game is a little different when it comes to relationship Communication is the key.

But what most guys forget .. is that they got the girl attracted to them in the first place by acting a certain way .. and just because she is now your girlfriend, doesn’t mean that you should stop what you were doing to get her in the first place .. duh!

Hot Alpha Female

http://www.hotalphafemale. blogspot.com

Dont Hate the player - Love the game - Play to win

Look if people are always trying to get the best they can get, always looking for the better deal, always looking to trade up, then this obivously spells doom for long term relationships. And the persons with that mentality need to own up to their very substantial part in ruining their relationships with unrealistic attitudes.

I would hope that the women who think like you described (and you say you all are like that from the nice ones to the bad girls), can connect the dots between their expectations and why they seem to be so insatiable in their relationships.

I mean if I get married and then dump my wife after 5-10 years because she put on a little weight after having our kids...simply BECAUSE I THINK I CAN DO BETTER, clearly that would be wrong, correct? It's bullshit any way you slice it. So much for vows. So much for promises.

So why is a guy an asshole for doing what I just described, while women claim it's their right to want the best they can get, what with all the testing and looking for the better deal?

Why do women get a pass to do that crap? Sorry but I don't buy it one bit. If you feel the need to constantly test your partner then I'm sorry you need to take your insecurities somewhere else. It's hypocritical to expect that your partner be confident, secure, always in love with you etc. while you yourself are insecure and and you fall in and out of love according to whatever selfish whim happens to be influencing your mood.

Are you done now? Do you need a bucket of water to cool down or something? It’s not even about striving to always get the better package. Don’t know how twisted you read my response.

Let me get one thing straight. The courting process of attracting a girl and actually maintaining a girlfriend/long term partner has slightly different rules.

In dating a girl will lose interest in a guy when he becomes too nice. LoL You can blow hot air, you can chuck a tantrum, you can deny it as much as you want. But it’s a fact. So just accept it already.

I’ve seen case after case where the guy was much more mysterious, confident and cocky funny at the beginning and for some reason, he thought that he has passed all the tests and he began to relax. He started to give in to her, lose a sense of himself and give her everything she asked for with hesitation.

Usually after about a week or two of this, I hear that she has broken up with him. When I ask what the reason was. Usually there isn’t one. She just doesn’t feel it for him.

It’s not because he put on weight, or lost his job, or was irresponsible. It was because he forgot to challenge her, he forgot that she was always testing him to see if he would give up that control. When he did, that’s when he lost her.

When I say testing. That’s what I mean. It’s always a power struggle. It’s not about being able to find a better deal. It’s not about insecurities. It’s about acting a certain way, doing this with a certain presence to keep a girl you like beside you all the time.

In relationships it a little different. Of course both of you have to keep each other on your toes. You have to be able to challenge and support each other, while both of you grow. Like I said before communication is important and the girl needs to feel like she is supported and the guy needs to feel like he is appreciated. They need to be speaking the same language. Its is a slightly different ball game, but the guys still needs to remember the essential rules he used originally to attract her in the first place

Hot Alpha Female

Dont Hate the player - Love the game - Play to win

HotAlphaFemale -

More than 50% of marriages end in divorce.

70% of all divorces are initiated by women.

Of all marriages that produced children and ended in divorce, 60% of all ex-wives admit that they prevent their ex-husbands from seeing their children purely out of spite.

30% of all men (single, married, or divorced) who believe that they fathered children discover that they are not the biological fathers of those children. Even then, most men are forced to pay child support for children that are not even theirs.

And, the vast majority of men who get divorced are forced to give up their houses and their cars and custody of their children to their wives.

HotAlphaFemale -

Oh so I twisted your response, eh?

Let's review.

From *your own* words:

"All girls test all the time. Its just easier to accept it and then see what you can do it from there. The fat ones, the skinny ones, the smart ones, the dumb ones. We are always testing to see if you are good enough for us. Its not about being up ourselves. I think its just a natural reaction - because we want our partner to be the best we can get. Who wants to settle for less if we don't have to?"

So basically all women no matter what their flaws may be have the right to continually test guys and put them thru the paces WITHOUT AN ENDPOINT? Sounds like somebody's never gonna be satisfied. Look, as we all know, women have their flaws as well. People are human and you don't have to look too far to find SOMETHING wrong. Looking for perfection in a person is pure folly; rather one needs to determine whether they can live with the other person's imperfections or not. But imperfect women looking for a perfect man is laughable.

Why? BECAUSE YOU WILL NEVER FIND ONE. He doesn't exist. In the end, everybody who wants a perfect partner ends up "settling" for someone who has at least some flaws or another. It's a compromise but it's a compromise on both sides.

You want your partner to be the best you can get but the other side of the coin is: are YOU the best your partner could get? What if he thought just as you did? Your relationship would have ZERO stability with all the testing and checking out other people comparing them to your partner. Can you not connect the dots between this behavior and why folks can't seem to find someone for them and be happy?

Let me ask you this; are YOU ok with guys doing the same thing to YOU? How does it feel to know that you can be dumped at any time on a selfish whim? How would it feel to be mate poached? Not too fun huh?

On one hand you say it's a "natural" reaction but if men do it it's very different isn't it? It's so unfair and he's so cruel and he's such a dog/pig/asshole/etc. Dumping her for that younger woman...the nerve. Dumping her because she gained weight or lost her sex drive, etc....gee what an asshole he is for dumping her due to things she can't help. You get my drift.

But your logic is giving women a free pass to do the very same thing yall don't want men to do. If you don't see the inherrent double standard and hypocracy in what you're saying I don't know what else to tell you.

But you say we're just supposed to accept it and go from there?

You'll have to excuse me if I don't hurry and take your advice on that.

You say don't hate the player, hate the game but that's only for those who wanted to play the game in the first place. Not everybody who wants a relationship is out to play someone. In all your years of dating experience, don't you know that by now? I say if you're playing a game you intrinsically know somebody's gonna end up getting hurt, so therefore you have to take personal responsibility for the damage caused to yourself or others, to not do so is irresponsibly immature. Don't expect me to cosign on YOUR outlook; not everybody is out to play games with people. Some people actually would like to have a relationship free of the BS.

Last time I checked, it's not cool to play games with someone you allegedly love. People do that and then want to act innocent when a heart gets broken. Well based on what I'm hearing, rarely is that an accident.

Also since you're an advocate of THE GAME, you must know that it relies heavily on pretense.

Which means yes if he is playing the game, he will put on an act, and so will she. That means that when you meet them, they're not really being themselves, they're putting on a show so you will want to be with them. So naturally when they've got you, soon after, the show is over, because people can't live a lie forever. Eventually they revert to their basic nature of who they really are. Point being, if you are in it for "the game", you must know that what you were shown in the first place is very likely to be bullshit so that person could get what they wanted from you. And this happens on both sides of the fence among "players" and "playettes".

The above comments are absoultely correct and this is why I stopped pursuing American women a long time ago. Who needs to put up with this kind of attitude? There are plenty of decent women from outside the USA who don't think like this...

"speak her language" often ends up being "tell her what she wants to hear"....there is a very THIN line between the two if they aren't very close to being synonymous.

So it seems to me that women who want to play the game want to be lied to, because it's the lie that turns them on.

Then you say he has to keep doing what he did to get her...which is basically saying he has to keep living the lie. Oh what a tangled web we weave...that's gonna fall apart eventually.

Leave the PUA drama to your mama, that mess does not fly. Any broad who has to consider here a "hot" "alpha" "female" via online probably neither hot or has some identity issues. You might be worthy of "alpha" if you passed boot camp or OCS, but I digress.

You can't preach man hood to men, when you never have, and never will have a pair. So either go pre-op or stick to playing up your online persona.

No man worth his salt should have to play games to attract a piece of vagina and any man who does needs to get his priorities straight. Being a man who is focused "inward" (that means in self-improvement and personal satisfaction) is good enough, all else, especially females are secondary.

Now on to the subject of the divorce rate...I agree with you, part of the problem lies on the male side of the fence. To many men (simps and manginas) pursued and chased women for all the wrong reasons and gave a pussy pass (meaning free reign to run roughshot) to any cute thing that had a wiggle and batted its eye lashes. End result, males vying for female attention and wasting time and energy on unworthy female and a court system that gives female plaintiffs whatever they want has created a high divorce rate. To most women all marriage is nothing more than "show business." You put on a "show" up all of your female friends with the ceremony and you make your money in divorce court...

*What is occurring now? A society full of females (they are unworthy of the title WOMAN) who were raised to believe that the only things the should bring to the table is their body to get what they want. Be it a relationship (and the gifts and attention reaped from it), a court bargaining chip (a child), money, and most importantly attention. *Who taught them? The generation of females that preceded them.

You do not win a rigged dice or roulette game by bringing more money into the game. The only thing more money brings into such a rigged game is a very happy croupier who happily rakes in a higher quantity of Victim Sanctioned funding. You'll be continuously encouraged to keep on "playing" because you've got to be "in it to win it."

More reading and study into a rigged game also represents a fool's gold solution as well. You can read books with titles that would anger Senor Lee as these books will say that YOU are the problem who has to be changed.

Constant changing to marketing manufactured trends won't do anything but lighten your wallet and max out your credit cards.

The ONLY clear, rational, and intelligent solution is to walk away from that rigged dice or roulette wheel ONCE AND FOR ALL!!

Naturally, you can expect a wave of verbal abuse and insults from the croupier who will tell you that you Have To Take A Chance to be happy. The pit bosses will hound and harry you with every sophomoric and pedantic generalization imaginable. Perhaps there might even be some extra "credit" extended your way to prevent you from walking out that door.

Then, you feel the albatross literally hit the ground as you break the plane of the EXIT sign.

Then, an unprecedented wave of total clarity sweeps over you as you walk freely on that street..................

The next time you are blamed for being male, consider the source. Once you realize where the blame comes from, you will easily discard it as irrelevant.

Like Buddy Holly sang: "It doesn't matter anymore".

I think it's time we stopped listening to that nonsense and do our own thing.

Is anyone still trying to please women?

I guess the answer is no.

So, why should we care?

I can GUARANTEE you that as long as we are willing to listen to women and do as they tell us, they will NOT STOP.

The more we give in, the more strident they will be. It's a self-sustaining destructive notion. I would say:

let them say whatever they want: in one ear, out the other.

Dismiss their discourse as irrelevant at best. Total indifference is the medicine we have to use.

They can do nothing to us as long as we DON'T CARE.[/b]

So lets get something straight first. Dating as a game. It may not be what you guys are all thinking. The dating game is not about a set of rules that one must abide by. It is not about being fake. Its not about having fun by playing with someone’s emotions to make yourself feel better. It is not about being someone that you are not. It IS about having a template to fall back on, by which you fill it with your own uniqueness, your own personality and who you really are. Its about having certain skills that you can apply to your personality that will allow you to achieve the outcome that you want, to get that girl that YOU think is worthy of desiring ........ continued on my blog

http://www.hotalphafemale. blogspot.com

so basically is boil down to "tell a woman what she wants to hear to get the panties"

HAF you say dating is a game so deal with it, well why would a man play a game that is rigged for him not to win?? it seems to me that ALL the time effort and energy is put on the man's shoulders to facilitate a dating situation, while women just sit back pick and choose who she will let talk to her and who she just blows off. and 9 times out of 10 she picks the man with the best "game" which is like i said before really is just telling her what she wants to hear, then when women get "played" there now bitter, but it was a "game" all along right?

i think thats the problem that women get themselves into with advice like this. then there complaining about "why wont men grown up" and "men are so immature" well your trying to give men advice on how to "play a game" so what do women expect??

your logic doesnt make sense at all!!

game playing females...and they wonder why they're single...moving on...

Now the Player is schizophrenic in my opinion.

He says on hand:

STOP BEING A P@#SY and BE A MAN! STAND UP FOR YOURSELF

and then turns right around and says

YOU MUST HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH A WOMAN!

Now, it is doesn't take a Sherlock to realize who has the power in that situation.

The Player admits that when it comes right down to it, he can't say no to women.

Therefore, like the male feminist, he is an enabler for a gynocentric skank culture.

Edit: I can never figure out what the Player is trying to accomplish. Success at one-night stands? But escorts are more economical.

Long-term relationships? But player theory only works for attracting the female flame to the male moth. It doesn't say how to keep from getting burned.

* The next time somebody comes on this board (of either sex) and insinuates that we are a bunch of socially inept whiners that are just mopy because we aren't getting any tail, or that we need to change our approach when meeting women, refer them to this post.

Here it goes:

Speaking on behalf of many men here, I say this: We don't care.

Get it?

Sure, some of the griping on here refers to the lack of attention that men naturally want from women, but that is at best only a fraction of what's being said. From what I've read, I am certain many here will agree that increased access to vagina is not the issue.

It's the evil troll of a female behind the vagina that is the issue.

We are not a bunch of stupid male spiders looking for a new technique to get our palps inside a female who will rip us apart anyway.

We believe in self-preservation and self-respect.

We refuse to be players because we are tired of the games!!

Being a player means increased access to women. It does NOT mean increased access to QUALITY women.

How are 5 quarts of spoiled milk superior to 1 quart of the same?

Now, can anyone imagine a sensible man saying to a good woman:

"Sweetheart, you are the most wonderful lady I've met, but I've got to experiment and take my chances with chicks I hardly know who may be psychotic, vindictive, STD infested, and may take all my money! Bye, Honey!"

No!!! If you did have access to QUALITY women, you wouldn't be a player!!

Your player days would be over!

The fact that a man is a player demonstrates that he is no closer to real lasting love than any of the supposed "geeks," "whimps," "losers," "whiners" "morphodites," and "pansies" he derides.

The player may think the women he is with are the whores because they are giving him sex.

No, he is the whore. He is the gigolo. He is the one who propositions. He is the one who tries to sell his person to several women. He is the one who works to get more clients.

When a man goes to Nevada, guess who has to satisfy the customer? The woman!

The tables are turned!

Now, I don't think I'll ever use the services of a prostitute, but if I had my pick between being a player and a John, the John route sounds more reasonable to me. At least professional prostitutes are tested. The women of the Player aren't necessarily.

The idea that you have to radically disguise your real self, jump through hoops, try new approaches in order to get a good woman is the biggest crock of manure ever sold in a collectible tin. Rest assured,

if you have to twist and twirl on a circus ball to get her, you'll have to do the same to keep her.

A good woman would never do that to a man.

*shrugs* Sa da tay. Pootie be down on the panties side.

I don't think very many women could tolerate the never-ending testing if it was turned around on them. I think they'd want to leave a relationship like that. Matter of fact they complain about that very same thing, on this very blog, because all the testing shows one's insecurity, and you know that is a turn off to them. So that should be very telling, that they won't tolerate it from you but they reserve the right to do it endlessly.

Also, I don't think very many women are really tough enough to withstand what they're asking for when they say they want a man with "game". The high proportion of single mothers and broken hearts tell the tale if you ask me. This is the destiny of women who choose to play these games. It seems it's real easy to fall off the tightrope isn't it? And if you didn't like the outcome of the roller coaster ride, you won't get a refund after it's over.

Players don't make a habbit of doing what they're supposed to do when it comes down to it. That means:

1) They usually won't commit, and if they do, that's a committment on shaky ground until they find someone better who will become their side piece or even your replacement. 2) They won't step up to their responsibilities as the father of your child(ren) 3) They won't take responsiblity for burning you with an STD (you know they're screwing other women, right?)

I could add more but you get the point. "Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it."...and then some.

Quality attracts quality. Fake attracts fake. An easy lesson yet still tough for so many to learn.

HAF, Something seems incomplete here. Courtship should be a testing period. You should be learning about the character strengths and weaknesses, and you should be willing to pass or fail your partner for deceit, for disrespect, or for aberrant behavior. Just as you should be at risk for the same tests, and the same evaluation. Forming a family, the point of courtship, should start out with as solid a mate-prospect as you can find.

I am a bit disturbed by 'professionalism's assertion that no one should have to 'earn' a partner. I don't see behaving in an honorable, respectful, and courteous fashion as paying dues. And I do think that earning your partner's trust and affection is worthwhile.

I figure there is a division among people forming attachments. The sensible ones look for a stable, dependable mate prospect, someone worthy of trust and respect, someone they feel affection for. The children look for the brightest glitter, the slickest line, or the rebel. The children, those that never learn to look to forming a family before they have a baby in their sweaty hands, aren't picking successful partners - they are grasping for childish toys, then having to make the best life they can. Ever here the "all the good ones are taken" hoot? I think the guys and gals that grew up in solid families, learned discipline and honor and respect - find a good mate early. The rest of the unattached guys and girls mostly seem to have difficulty forming bonds, living honorably and respectfully, and seem to value glitter over character.

And the statistic broadcast yesterday says the divorce rate has dropped to 41%.

Interesting report, Brad K...could you post a link to this report?

Also, is there any word on whether the amount of marriages has increased or decreased?