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Her attraction for me is gone (79)
What is confusing is her bitterness towards me now that I'm in another relationship. So, hard as I try (including reading everything I can find on the subject) I'm no closer to understanding her and cheating than I was when she first told me. Bottom line? It's a lose-lose.
More than anything, it seems the basic problems that lead to cheating are often if not always present after the deal. In my case, her words were strongly directed to inform me that I wasn't 'being replaced' but her actions said just the opposite. For two or three years before she often withheld sex, but it wasn't until she actually hooked up with another man that she seemed to find the courage to tell me she wasn't in love with me anymore and wanted to be on her own. 'Time to think' was the line as I recall, but it was actually time to do something else. And that 'something' wasn't done alone.Most painful was her return when my father passed away. The divorce was not final yet and she expressed deep regret and caring towards me during that period; saying she wanted to come home and take care of me. I was not ready to have her move back in (and my kids were totally confused by this time...especially my 16-YO daughter) but we did spend time together, dating and kissing/holding each other. A few weeks down the road I sensed her pulling away again, and when I called her on it she confessed she had been seeing a man (the third since our split, this one married with kids...) and she she 'didn't want to be that way' (cheating) anymore.
To review, my wife did not want to cheat on her married boyfriend by seeing me; her husband. Convoluted? Call it what you want but she's been in the rear-view ever since. Is it manipulation or meanness? You tell me.
Look, it didn't take me long to discover my ex would say things she thought i *wanted* to hear, so I'm down.
Still, there's a history of guilt and sorrow in her family...almost like some are addicted to it. Take a good life, mess it up and have something to bitch, moan and complain about for years. Plus, she's ignoring her kids. Any idea what to make of that? I mean, out of the picture for over a year.
"Can anyone explain this?"
Michelle Langley says:
Women's relationships today follow
a very predictable pattern:
They push men for commitment
They get what they want
They lose interest in sex
They become attracted to someone else
They start cheating
They become angry and resentful
They begin telling their partners that they need time apart
They blame their partners for their behavior...and eventually, after making
themselves and everyone around them miserable for an indefinite, but
usually, long period of time, they end their relationships or marriages.
I cheated on my wife several times throughout our short marriage. We were
together for four years before getting married and I thought she was what I
wanted. I guess I felt guilty,but it didn't stop me. I think it really
messed her up for awhile, and for that I am sorry. She's off with a new
man now and I am free to do my thing.
Leon why didn't you just leave? Why did you do that to your wife?
